


it's always a gaytime

by phloridas



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, M/M, based on the bakery instagram stories, because i had way too much fun imagining their bants and i just had to write it down, which you can probably guess from the title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 07:43:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14786333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phloridas/pseuds/phloridas
Summary: “You know, anything can be used as a sex toy if you’re careful enough.”“Jesus christ, Dan. No! I’m not gonna let you use this donut as...whatever the hell you’re planning on doing with it. You’re gonna get yourself arrested.”Or, Dan and Phil enjoy some bants about sweets.





	it's always a gaytime

There’s something about airports that sets Dan’s heart into flight.

Especially here in London City, where there’s almost no chance of running into subscribers. He lets out a long breath. A single glance at Phil tells Dan he’s feeling it too. Dan’s just about to open his mouth when--

“Oh my god, Dan, the bakery--look, it’s already decorated for June!”

Dan follows Phil’s finger and sure enough, the windows on either side of the open storefront are bursting with color and an even brighter array of sweet treats that sets his stomach rumbling in delight. Behind that, though, there's a jump and a soft little wriggle, both feelings Dan would have pushed down years ago. But now, cheesy as it is, the rainbow glory just makes him feel at home.  
  
(Well. Maybe he could do without it being so bright some days. But after the wonderful and ridiculous month they've had, it doesn't matter now.)   
  
He finally tears his eyes from a pink, purple, and blue cupcake back to Phil, whose smile sends tiny fissures through Dan's foundation.   
  
"So it is," he murmurs. Then a bit louder, "D'you...do you think we have time to grab something?"

Phil checks his phone and sure enough, there’s still half an hour before they have to board. The massive grin creeping across his face is answer enough for Dan, who starts bopping along to the Spice Girls the moment he strides in.

Pure sugar shoots up his nose as if he’s just opened their cupboards after Phil’s stuffed an open marshmallow bag in there. Somewhat subconsciously, Dan drifts over to a display of donuts lining the left wall, while Phil is drawn to a tower of biscuits standing front and center. Dan passes the basic glazed and filled pastries, some painted the colors of various pride flags, then hits a case of what looks like specials with some very...interesting names.

“Phil,” Dan says, choking back a laugh. He’s quite grateful the tiny shop, empty aside from them and the middle-aged man at the till, allows him to keep his voice soft. “Oh my god, check out what they’re calling some of these donuts. I think this one represents me quite well, don’t you think?”

Dan takes full pleasure in watching Phil deflate and shake his head at the speckled tile. “I’m Coconutting For You? Really, Dan?”

Dan just lets out a signature hyena cackle. Phil joins in with a giggle before adding, “You know what, I think this bottom one is you.”

“It’s Always a Gaytime,” Dan reads. “I mean...you’re not wrong.” This time, it’s Dan’s turn to giggle, a rosy pink blush coloring his cheeks as he bites his lip and flicks his eyes back up to Phil. “Okay, but this _has_ to go on Instagram.”

Phil merely shakes his head again and returns to the biscuits as Dan fiddles with his phone for the next few minutes. All the while, he weighs the two options. Of course each donut looks equally incredible but they’ve both got their implications. They’ll obviously be sharing their sweets haul with their viewers and while he can taste the chocolate glaze on his tongue, people will have a _lot_ to say about it. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing…?

Dan squeezes his eyes shut and posts the appropriately blinged-out photo (Phil would be proud of his sticker use) before shoving his phone back in his pocket. My My My! starts playing over the speakers and it hits Dan once again that he can call himself (sort of) friends with a real recording artist. And quite a well-known--and cute--one at that.

“Phiiiiilll, help me decide on a donut. Pleaaaseeee?” Dan pouts. Within seconds, Phil’s back at his side, a soft smile giving Phil a glow that Dan’s insides soon match. There’s no sense in trying to dim the feeling, not when it’s so nice. “See, the gaytime one does look delicious but then there’s the _implications_ , plus the coconut one...I mean, it’s _coconut_ and nobody’s gonna know what it’s called, but it’s also so _big_ there’s no way I’m gonna be able to eat it…”

“I’m getting you the coconut one and you’re sharing it with me,” Phil cuts into Dan’s ruminations with a grin. “Because _I’m_ coconutting for _you_ , Dan.”

“Oh my god, the minute we come home I am getting a divorce.”

Phil just responds with a _heeheehee!_ that still sends Dan’s insides bouncing around like a little kid on Halloween.

They pay for their sweets (Phil batting Dan’s hand out of the way with a light tap even as Dan pulls out his wallet anyway) and make their way to the boarding area. There’s a new energy coursing through Dan and he uses some of it to bump shoulders and hips with Phil as discreetly as possible. Phil turns to Dan with a crinkly-eyed question of a smile. _You’re so happy today. What gives?_ it says.

Dan just shrugs, a smile of his own crawling up his face. _Dunno. The tour. You_ , he hopes his expression says.

Phil just shakes his head at the ground again and hits Dan with his own tiny hip bump that sends a million sparks down his right side.

When they reach the boarding area, Marianne is already there, buried deep in her laptop. She lifts her head for a second to address them with a nod and a tiny wave, then returns to her work with a set jaw.

Of course Dan and Phil immediately turn to their mint green pastry boxes, Phil’s hand already reaching for Dan’s single donut. His eyes go wide as he pulls it out.

“Told you it was big,” Dan giggles. Phil takes a giant bite in response.

“Fuck,” he sighs after a second. “It is really good, Dan, try it!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, go on!” Phil replies, his mouth sounding suspiciously full again.

Dan takes the donut, flinching and scrunching his nose at Phil when he wipes powder all over Dan’s fingers. “Hmmmm, alright.” He pulls out his phone to giggle about the massive size, then lets out a long moan the second he stops filming. “Ohhhhhh _fuck_ ,” he draws out as coconut and sugar and flaky pastry dance across his tongue in a melody that Phil could only dream of competing with before turning massive doe eyes over to the man beside him. “But it really is soooooo _biiiiiiiig_. Phiiiilllll?”

“Hmmm?”

“Do you want it?” Dan pulls his face into a pout and blinks his eyes slowly until Phil catches his gaze. Phil’s face may be set but the corner of his lip is twitching in a way that Dan knows will bring a full-on belly laugh at any second.

“But I’ve got my own sweets, Dan!” Phil protests.

“ _Pleaaaaasssseeee?_ ”

“Oh alright. But only because I love you and I don’t want you getting sick.” Phil grabs the donut again despite his own towering pile of sweets.

“Love you more!” Dan grins.

Phil takes another huge bite and the moan that follows...god, that should be _illegal._

Especially with that one strand falling so delicately from his quiff.

“ _Phil._ Fucking hell, you’re gonna give me flashbacks to Tyler Oakley.”

“What?” Phil’s mouth is still full of donut so it sounds more like _bwuuhhh?_ Good thing Dan’s learned how to speak Phil over the years.

“That stupid porn video. I--I mean, the _watching porn_ video,” Dan quickly clarifies, seeing Phil’s wide eyes.

“Okay, because I was about to say--” Phil starts, but Dan cuts him off.

“There was one where the guy told his girlfriend not to eat the donut because he came in it. It was really stupid though, like, he wasn’t even that hot. No straight pornstar is.” He giggles at the memory.

Phil finally swallows and rolls his eyes to the ridiculously high ceiling before turning to Dan. “Have I ever told you how glad I am that I _wasn’t_ in that video?”

“You should be, honestly. It was all straight and lesbian porn. Not nearly enough dicks.” Dan sighs dramatically, then glances down at the donut, which Phil’s now bitten into a near-perfect crescent. “Actually…” He turns back to Phil with a single eyebrow raised and a smirk smeared across his face.

“Dan…”

“You know, anything can be used as a sex toy if you’re careful enough.”

“Jesus _christ_ , Dan. No! I’m not gonna let you use this donut as a fucking dildo or whatever the hell you’re planning on doing with it. You’re gonna get yourself arrested.”

“Awwww come on, Phil? Where’s your sense of adventure?” Dan snatches the donut from its spot on Phil’s lap and starts dancing it up Phil’s thigh. A tinkly laugh bubbles up and over that soon turns into a cackle and then a sharp gasp when Phil smacks Dan’s hand away and nearly knocks the donut to the ground before Dan catches it with his other hand.

“But Dan,” Phil chokes out between laughs, “I thought you weren’t gonna finish that?”

“You don’t know what sort of STD’s are crawling around on the floor here, Phil.” Dan’s hand is still on Phil’s thigh. It’s nice and warm there. And thrilling, like the feeling of getting away with something you’re not supposed to be doing.

“Dan. _No!_ ” Phil protests again, tongue poking out of his mouth and tears now streaming from his eyes. “We are not letting the donut fic become a reality.”

Dan’s entire face lights up, brighter than the sun earlier that day. “There’s a donut fic? How many reads do you think it has?”

“ _Dan._ ” Phil’s voice may be stern but he’s choking back a new wave of giggles. “Not the point. And _when_ will you learn that AO3 is the far superior fic platform?”

“Phil, babe, it’s the donut fic. You’re not gonna find that shit on AO3.”

“Mmmm, fair enough,” Phil concedes.

“You boys about done there?” Marianne asks from the row across from them. “Because I’m starting to wonder if I can really spend an hour and a half on this plane with you.”

“Well, I’d _hope_ we are.” Phil turns a rigid face over to Dan, his entire demeanor melting once he catches Dan’s twinkly-eyed gaze.

“Yeah, yeah, we are.” And as Dan slides his phone out and lightly taps Phil’s foot with his own, a fleeting thought grabs hold in his mind.

People can say whatever the hell they want about the bakery or his choice of pastry (or the mysterious bite already taken out of it). But none of it matters, because everything he should ever give a shit about is right there beside him.

For the first time ever, Dan can see a day where he’s truly comfortable with himself and everything he is. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, or next week, or next month. But soon.

And right now, that’s more than enough for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://phloridas.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](http://twitter.com/phloridas) (where I promise I'm gonna try to be more active!) @phloridas! And thank you so much for reading! <3


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